I'm in my forties, don't have kids, and I still believe in Santa Claus. And yes, I get a lot of grief from lots of people who apparently are a little naughty, so Santa doesn't fill their stockings anymore and they simply quit believing in the man in red.
Whenever I hit that inquisitive age as a youngster and asked my mom, "Is there really a Santa Claus or are you and Dad just putting toys under the tree?" She calmly responded with a twinkle in her sapphire blue eyes, "As long as you believe in Santa he will come see you. And by the way, I believe in Santa and he comes to see me."
That response sufficed for years, because every year I wrote a letter to Santa, tried to be good, and he came to see me like clockwork. In my heart, this made it impossible for there not to be a Santa despite what the non-believers said.
Then a few years ago, my mom passed away, and I must confess I was a little nervous that the rumors would be true and at thirty-something I'd finally discover there wasn't a Santa. But here's what happened that Christmas.
In my family, Black Friday also means the beginning of the holiday decorating marathon. For us, holiday decorating isn't just a tradition, it's an event. Almost every room of the house, including the laundry room, is decorated with something and in most cases lots of something's. My brother calls it the decorating gene, but that year I was inclined to defy genetics.
It hadn't even been 3 months since the funeral and I wasn't in the holiday spirit. Decorating seemed like a lot of work. In the past it was something my mom and I shared--work and all. Even though we lived in different cities we sorta decorated together via phone calls and pictures. Since she wasn't going to be decorating, it just wasn't going to be the same.
Then something happened, not decorating just didn't feel right. And in a fleeting thought, I wondered, "Would Santa know it was my house without my decorations?"
So I decorated and sent my letter to Santa as usual. Of course, as I got older my Santa letters were less about stuff and more about experiences.
Without question that Christmas and those that have followed haven't been the same as the ones with my mom. And when I woke up Christmas morning my stocking wasn't full of goodies (as usual). But to my delight and surprise Santa still came to see me.
When we're little, Santa manifests himself in a red suit, with flying reindeer, and presents. But the first Christmas without my mom, I think I understood what she meant when she told me that she believed in Santa.
That Christmas Eve as I was sitting in my lighted, winter wonderland decorated apartment, drinking hot tea (sorry it wasn't hot chocolate), and listening to my favorite carols, I realized that the spirit of Santa was there with me. Every room had a magical quality about it that just made me feel good, despite my sadness. The holiday ambiance made it easy to believe that almost anything was possible. So even if my hopes, dreams, and wishes were bigger than new toys, they just might happen. While Christmas is about giving, it's also about believing in unexpected miracles.
Something that I only thought of as a holiday tradition and one that some might understandably think we took to extremes, was so much more. When my mom decorated it was her way of inviting the spirit of Santa into her home. And because she believed in him, he was there.
As adults, we need to believe that our hopes can become a reality as much as we needed to see the toy we wanted under the tree Christmas morning, as children. If you believe in the magic of Christmas, it's so much easier to believe in unexpected happiness the rest of the year.
I won't be surprised when someone discovers Santa's home in the North Pole. But North Pole resident or not, what I'm sure of is that there are lots of Santa's. Some give things, others create opportunities, and some gently nudge us in the right direction. And these Santa's don't just work in December. And we probably don't even know them.
So now, when that sometimes overwhelming, always time-consuming holiday tradition of decorating starts, I understand the bigger purpose. When you live in a magical wonderland during the holidays, you can't help but believe in Santa Claus.
