When I started the Society over a decade ago I remember chatting with a therapist at a conference who asked why I had started the Society. I responded with something like, “Our culture seems to reward us with positive reinforcement when we talk about our problems, but if we talk about being happy, people really don’t know how to respond. The room gets silent.” His response, “What’s wrong with that?” still causes my heart to skip a beat. I could only think, “I’m so glad you’re not my therapist.”
I guess he was into job security. What’s wrong with his comment is that the point of self-help is to find more happiness. The assumed by-product of being happier would be talking more about happiness. Happy people know that at best you’re happy most of the time, but not all of the time. People who are mostly happy seek to find silver linings in their challenges instead of seeing them as obstacles destined to make them forever unhappy.
If you seek silver linings, you may find yourself being the happiest person you know. Not because you only experience happiness, but because you choose to see challenges as opportunities.
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Being the happiest person you know can sometimes feel lonely – especially during the holidays. I mean, if the majority of the people you know see the glass half empty, then it dissipates the joy of sharing happiness because you can predict that the other person will just rain on your parade. Although happiness is scientifically known to be contagious, so is gloom. If you’re the one happy person in a group of five, you probably won’t be able to elevate the group mood to happiness. Some people seem to define happy as being chronically cranky. They carry their “what’s wrong” magnifying glass with pride. Also to clarify, a chronically cranky person isn’t someone who’s having a bad day. Unhappy moments happen to even mostly happy people. You can figure out who’s happy being cranky and who’s just having a cranky moment.
How do you keep your happy if you’re the happiest person you know?
- Connect with other happy people. This may mean making new friends to create a “keep your happy” support group. This group needs to be made up of people who are at least as happy as you are (not people you are trying to cheer up).
- Make new not-so-secretly happy friends on our blog posts and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. We have an even better happy connection solution launching in January ~ more to come soon.
- Do not try to make a chronically cranky person happy. They are happy in their own way being unhappy. Protect your happiness by responding to their “what’s wrong” chatter with a smile and a response like “that’s one way to see it”.
- Encourage happy sharing. When someone makes a comment about something that makes them happy, be genuinely happy when you respond. Ask questions, get the story, and smile big with your borrowed joy. Then this person will mostly likely want to hear your happy story, too.
If you’re ever feeling like you’re the happiest person you know, remember that you are not alone. There are thousands of not-so-secretly happy people in our community to share in celebrating happiness with you.
In the spirit of sharing happiness, what’s the happiest thing that’s happened to you today? Please share below – we really want to know.
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
The happiest thing that’s happened to me today? Your email! It says exactly what I’ve been needing to hear.
The next happiest? The weather has warmed up enough to enjoy being outside with my dog.
And, my lunch is nearly cooked and it’s one of my favourites.
I was on a walk today with my grandson and he stopped and picked up a leaf. With a big smile on his face, he said, “Leaves make me happy!” It was so cute and put a smile on my face!!!!!!
My HAPPY moment today was the moment I KNEW I could go into my WARM home after hanging holiday decorations in the WINDY 40 degree weather 🙂 YAY!!!!
Not only do i strive to live a happy life I’m actually a student
Starting a free MOOC on the Science of Happiness today care to join me http://tinyurl.com/mdj6h87 @GreaterGoodSC
Hi Pamela. THANK YOU so much for all you do to spread happiness! I admit I don’t always take the time to read all of the wonderful info you share, but I always appreciate the fact you take the time to make the world a happier place.
My happiest moment today was taking a walk with my wife on the trails where we used to walk our beloved dogs. Both our “puppies” (yes, we still referred to them as puppies although they were six years old) decided it was time to leave this existence and succumbed to cancer last month. As we walked the trails, my wife and I reminisced about how they would chase after rabbits and squirrels and deer, etc. Although we miss them dearly, we are so grateful (and happy) that they were part of our lives for six years.
I wish you continued happiness always!
My happy day was playing golf with 3 friends on this bea
utyful day in sunny fl.
The happiest thing that happened to me today was : Today my amazing daughter went to the movies with her friends. They dressed up as the characters in the movie. They sent me photos of themselves and silly snap chats all day. Each one made me smile and laugh. Each one made joy pop through me like bubbles. One of her friends is probably the most beautiful soul I have met in a long time. Brilliantly smiling and sharing her joy everywhere she goes. They call her Sunny. Doesn’t that say it all? I am grateful to be able to watch them be such good friends to each other and to see them bring happiness to so many around them. Thanks!
My happy moment today was receiving my medal for achieving Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM), which is the highest personal achievement in the Toastmasters educational program. It took me 8+ years to get and to receive the medal up on the stage was exhilarating.
Pamela, your emails always brighten my day. I agree with you that even happy people have bad days. It’s how we respond to them that makes the difference. Thank you for making a difference in all our lives.
My happiness I made my own Bay cheddar biscuits like Red lobster and now I am enjoying eating them.