As a teenager I believed I was wise beyond my years … and many still call me an old soul. However, I also believed, incorrectly, that if I could make all my own decisions my life would be a perfect happily-ever-after. Of course, that would mean my life would go as planned and there would never be any uncertainty.
People make plans to get things done and reduce uncertainty. Plans do help get things done, but they rarely, if ever, reduce the uncontrollable nature of uncertainty. Wisdom allows us to realize that more things feel uncertain than certain. Ironically, as much as we don’t like uncertainty it doesn’t always mean unwanted or bad.
When we feel the pangs of fear and anxiety that naturally surround uncertainty, it’s easy to forget that most of the time on the other side of it everything works out just fine, even though things might not have worked out as planned.
Since uncertainty can rain on our happy parade how do we realistically acknowledge it, yet, recognize our happiness too?
First we need to identify the source of the uncertainty. Is it something major like career, money, health, parenting or caretaking challenges that can be life changers? Or is it something minor like a tiff with a friend, the weather, or if we’re getting invited to a party?
If the source of our uncertainty is minor, meaning not a life changer, then we need to refuse to let it take a minute away from our happiness. Although we may have a desired result, it shouldn’t be more than a blip on our emotional radar if it doesn’t happen. It certainly shouldn’t have the ability to redefine our happiness.
But no matter how wise we feel, the life changers are called life changers for a reason. They are going to create anxiety. We’re left to figure out how to learn from these moments, grow from them, or change because of them.
Uncertainty from the minor to the major is going to happen. We need to manage it or it will manage us. We must learn the value of living in the present moment, not the “what if” moment of the future. Uncertainty is about what hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen. Even if a cloud of uncertainty is following us, happiness still happens too. It’s our responsibility to also recognize these moments. If you’re in doubt there’s a happiness rainbow lurking around the clouds of uncertainty, then broaden your happy definition and check out the Society’s 31 Types of Happiness.
Silver Lining Perspective
Uncertainty teaches us to live in the moment. It can spawn unhappiness that we must acknowledge and ultimately feel. But uncertainty is only part of any of our day. Therefore, it’s equally important to acknowledge and embrace the happiness that we also experience too. Noticing happiness helps keep us balanced in a world that is guaranteed to offer moments of both uncertainty and happiness.
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
I like your “silver lining” take on this. I am trying to become more skilled at embracing uncertainty and ambiguity, but it does take effort for me. Thank you for the helpful reminder of the value of flexibility.
I wrote a post today about social media and change! Change will happen and it’s okay! Love this! Thanks Pamela
Excellent article! I think along with planning and expecting what is good and positive we must also understand that we can’t control what happens in life outside our own power…and that is when we can only focus on how we respond and react to the uncertainty. Thanks for sharing your insights!
I love this post! I used to make myself sick worrying about things that might happen in the future. It’s a hard habit to break, but I’m getting better and choosing happiness more often these days regardless of what is going on that I can’t control.
I love how you put positivity on this post about uncertainty. Yes, it is really difficult to focus on something but amidst the uncertainty, we can still find happiness.
I agree, the great thing about uncertainty is that it causes us to live in the moment. Additionally, it does add a little extra “spice” to life as well 🙂
Hi, I just stumbled on to your website while doing some research on happiness. You rock! The world needs what you are trying to do.
I was blessed to be mother to my most favorite child in the world. She was awesome and had a ton of medical problems. Those problems often led her to not feel well, need medical attention, or to be hospitalized. Needless to say we lived in a world of uncertainity for the 15 years of her life. I learned two important lessons. Number one always have a plan B that you can be just as happy about. When something fun or special had to be canceled I always had a movie, a book, or a project that I would be happy doing–even if it was in an emergency room.
The second lesson I learned became a mantra, “I get to choose what is a crisis…and this is not it.” I hate how powerless and out of control crisis makes me feel. Once I learned I could choose not to create crisis in most cases, life got a lot easier. And interestingly, people around me often took a que and didn’t respond in crisis.