Wouldn’t life be easy if happiness was literally a recipe?
It’d be something like, smile nine times at strangers, do five acts of kindness, and laugh at least seven times. Double the recipe if you’re serving happiness to more than one person.
But happiness doesn’t work like that, even the 40% of our happiness that we have control over, according to Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky. Happiness is affected by the moment.
That doesn’t mean we don’t need to develop happiness habits, but even those are dependent on the moment. Currently I take my dog Tater on what I call my morning gratitude walk when we first wake up and that makes me quite happy. But this past Sunday it was raining so we postponed the walk because a wet me with a wet and muddy dog would not equal happiness.
This brings me to two stories I recently read about our attempts to measure happiness. The first is a recent Harris Poll that announced only 1 in 3 Americans is “very happy”, which was a decrease from the previous poll. If you’re polling me and ask if I’m very happy, it’ll completely depend on what day and what time you ask. The fact that 1 in 3 Americans is very happy is a pretty awesome number. Very happy is a high degree of happiness. Some people are simply happy being content and that’s happy enough for them. What didn’t make the headlines is how many people are mostly happy. You know just your run of the mill average happy.
That was followed by an op-ed piece I saw in the newspaper, Money and Power Don’t Buy Women Happiness, by columnist Kathleen Parker. All I could think was “no duh,” because those things aren’t a recipe for happiness for men or women. No one is happy being in a vault, literal or self-imposed, with money. And how often do you hear the cliché “it’s lonely at the top?” Power has both advantages and disadvantages for both men and women.
In recent years we’ve tried to make happiness a measurable experience. But it’s just not. We do need certain necessities to be happy. But otherwise our degree of happiness is subjective to many things. Did you ever have the perfect date, then tried to recreate it? You can’t. You may have another great date, or better than last time date, but it won’t be the exact same date or reach the same levels of perfection. How we feel about something is about that moment.
Ultimately, the recipe for happiness is a little like the soup you make when you just throw stuff in the pot, taste it, make some spice adjustments and then let it simmer. Happiness is found in the moment, not in specific ingredients.
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Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
I love the uplifting comments!
Penny thanks for the reply and I’m glad you loved the comments. Keep you happy!!!
DHappiness is not a recipe but I could easily compare it to a menu. I used,to collect menus in college and used them to decorate my kitchen and inspire. We need to eat to lol iive and we all have.our favorites. We sometimes
Elissa, I agree that happiness is a menu … great analogy. Thanks for the comments!!!
Love your dog’s name “Tater.” That’s a happy name for a dog!
Thanks for the comment Cheryl. And Tater is a happy dog!
A lesson learned by the death of my mother some 20 years ago…never take a day for granted. I get up; and realize all I have to be happy for and share happiness with others. 🙂
Denise thanks for the comment … yes, death ironically teaches us to appreciate living. Keep sharing your happiness!
I recently read a quote that went something like “If you are not happy with what you have now, what makes you think you would be happy with more?” No happiness may not be a recipe complicated enough to require ingredients and a method to prepare it ready to enjoy. Happiness requires one foundational aspect: GRATITUDE. When we begin with an attitude of gratitude happiness evolves naturally. We have so often lost contact with the minute blessings of every day. Staying in the now and paying attention to these blessings and consciously acknowledging gratitude for each one equals happiness.
Helena I couldn’t agree more about gratitude that’s why it’s on the 31 Types of Happiness as thankful. Thanks for the comment.
Maybe our ultimate goal should just be to be happy (anyway and grateful whenever we can) since all the personal and professional goals we strive so hard for are basically pursued because we think and hope they will make us happy or happier but probably only if we can find people who are happy a lot to hang around with and not the rain on the parade types. Sometimes just because we are not super happy doesn’t have to mean at all that we are unhappy in any way maybe just preoccupied with life and the people in it as we all know it to be. I think its marvelous that you try to raise the happiness level of everyone Pamela. Sometimes when I try to be cheerful not everyone else is cheerful. I do believe happiness does require a certain amount of effort and is actually often a choice and that some people are somewhat hooked on their own unhappiness.
Thanks for the comments Jean. I completely agree there are may types of happiness that’s why we identified the 31 Types of Happiness to show the diversity of happiness.
We need to realize that external “things” won’t make us happy. Happiness comes from within ourselves.
Thanks for the comments Alice. It’s true the purest happiness is from withing … no one can take that away from you.
My favorite part was your very last line. When we are being mindful and living in the present, we’re less likely to be focusing on the missing ingredients. It can be rather difficult for worriers to find the balance of looking far enough to be prepared, while keeping their vision in the here and now – enjoying it.
Thanks Jessica … they say that like 70% of the things we never about happen … that always helps me when I start going down worry avenue.
Money & power don’t = happiness… well I agree, no duh. Although a certain amount of wealth helps with the stress of worrying about how to feed and clothe the family. I’m happy most of the time now without a lot of “extras” that are said to be had by having power and/or wealth.
Thanks Cyndi … you’re right that money doesn’t equal happiness in most cases. Studies show that you need to have enough money for the basics — food, clothes, housing, medical etc — but after there’s a minimal difference in the degrees of happiness between people.
It’s true happiness is found in the moment, but some ingredients will make you more aware of the moment and feel happiness more often. The ingredients: positive attitude, gratitude, a sense of humor, humility, faith, hope, friends, family and other things like that! A sunny day doesn’t hurt either.
Mar Lange thanks for the great ingredient list … it certainly helps to utilize them when trying to keep the happy!!!
I believe we can find blessings of joy in ANY situation. We may have to search for it, as joy does sometimes hide, but isn’t seeking in itself a joy? Once we take our personal selves out of a bad situation, and look at the larger picture, we will find joy in it. Perhaps the joy, in the above dog walking instance, was a chance to listen to the rain falling and experiencing the peace of being still, the gratitude for the rain, AND keeping dry!
There is not one recipe for happiness….it’s what you add to it to make it the happiest for yourself!!! Then sharing your happiness with others will be like smorgasbord of happiness, as they will share what you gave to them, then they add their own “ingredients” and so on and so on!!! It’s like a happiness pizza…the more ingredients, the better the pizza!!! 🙂
to know happiness we must know unhappiness…is it really possible to be very happy…i think it is true that it depends upon many variables but it is also important to savour those moments of gratitude and to appreciate the little things that mean a lot, a warm embrace, a laugh with a friend and a smile from or to a stranger..
Leanne thanks for the comment … it’s true that we really wouldn’t value happiness without the experience of unhappiness.
I love the gratitude walk! What a great idea. We need to stop more often and appreciate what we do have; focus on that instead of what we don’t have. I like the analogy of comparing happiness to a menu because at some points in life, happiness is a choice. I so appreciate all the work you do Pam to make us all smile. : )
Victoria thanks for the kind words and I appreciate you being in the Society. The gratitude walk is a great way to start the day … and I agree that happiness like a diverse menu … our order may change day to day.
I experienced unexpected happiness yesterday. My husband and I were on our way to have our hair trimmed. But before I got to the salon I felt my energy sink, and I felt depressed. Then when I got to the destination the stylist was full of energy and was asking me all kinds of fun questions about what to do with my hair. I was completely energized by her energy! This was completely unexpected, and that good energy lasted the rest of the evening. I know there are many more important things that occur on a daily basis, but the point I want to make is that whenever we have good energy we should savor it and remember that it can be contagious!