Last week was surreal. It was beyond busy between my day job and Happiness Happens Month. But the surreal part happened early Monday evening when I was talking on the phone to a co-worker, and looked up long enough to see the CNN scroll read something like, “Robin Williams Dead at 63. Apparent Suicide.”
Time stopped as I tried to process what I read. That’s when the surrealness started — that phase of going through the motions in a detached manner, as if you’re watching yourself in a play.
The Death Of Smile-Maker Robin Williams
The speculation news started with experts making comments on depression, substance abuse and their role in a possible suicide. Some comments were good, while others were in left field. My heart hurt for Robin’s family.
The death of such a smile-maker during Happiness Happens Month made it seem even more significant.
I started thinking about our Society members. Many of you have shared with me that you deal with depression. Someone close to me deals with depression and suicidal thoughts, and I’ve learned that Robin’s death hit her hard.
When someone who has made so many people laugh and smile chooses to end their life, it’s a blow to the heart for those who loved and appreciated them. In part, it’s because we want more of the happiness they could create. We want to believe that they lived in the happy place they were able to help us visit. We’re left feeling confused that the public persona wasn’t the entire person.
Celebrity or not, our public self isn’t anyone’s entire being.
We all have a public self that we openly share, and we have a private self that’s a work in progress. We’re always trying to re-discover our private self, because it changes as we change. As we recognize these changes, sometimes we allow them to trickle into our public persona. Other times, we share them with those closest to us. And other times they stay private, known only by us and maybe a journal.
Our emotions are complicated. Some people naturally have higher happiness set-points. Meaning if something unhappy happens, it’s just biologically easier for them to bounce back to a happy place. Others are challenged with biological depression. This means they have to put more effort from a mental and biological perspective into finding happiness all of the time, and even more if something unhappy happens. It’s not fair, but biology never has been a fair playing field. It also doesn’t mean that people who are innately happier don’t have unhappy moments, or that people who deal with biological depression don’t have happy moments.
We all experience a variety of emotions that range from happy to unhappy. However, we rarely know what anyone is really feeling at any given moment because of the public masks we all wear. A person’s ability to make us smile may be their gift to the world, but that gift may or may not reflect how they are feeling at that moment. Robin had been dealt a new and tough health challenge, Parkinson’s disease. Since he’d kept that diagnosis private, the majority of the people around him really didn’t know what he was coping with.
The death of Robin Williams reminded me of how blessed I was to have been inspired by his creative works, and to value every smile I had because of him. It also reminded me that I don’t know what’s really going on in anyone’s life, from the chronically cranky to the smile-maker, and I should practice compassion towards others.
Since the family of Robin Williams has asked that we honor the light he shared, what was your favorite Robin Williams movie or line?
[Tweet “What was your favorite Robin Williams movie or one-liner? Let’s honor #RobinWilliams #HHM”]
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
Those who are familiar with thoughts of suicide may have a better perspective on why suicide occurs. We may be less shocked by someone doing that which we have so often contemplated.
My favourite story of Robin Williams concerns his visit to a restaurant in Banff, Canada. He was acting like any other customer until someone asked for his autograph. In a few minutes, he had everyone within hearing laughing heartily. His waitress said later that he was so much like a real human being that she could hardly believe it.
People who are imagined to be more than human are given a terrible burden to bear, and perhaps this burden was too much for him. Rest in peace, Mr. Williams. Thank you for the laughter and the fun. May all your eternal smiles be genuine.
I was lucky enough to meet Robin many years ago in San Francisco. My roommate and I were spending one glorious day investigating the city – or at least the bars. As we walked past the Boarding House Cafe, I glanced in the window and saw Robin and his HUGE bodyguard inside. I told Doreen who doubted my word. Going in to prove I was right, we approached him and I said,”Could you please tell my friend here who you are?” And he took her hand and said,”Hi, I’m Robin Williams” with the biggest smile. My roommate was totally awestrck and just said, “No way” to which he replied, “OK…I am NOT Robin Williams”. After we thanked him and were walking away, I said to her, “You owe me a drink” to which a voice behind us said, “You owe me a drink too” – we sent one to Robin and the HUGE bodyguyrd. My near to greatness story. What a sweet kind man… I shall miss him.
Lucky you! Seriously.
I could totally see him doing something like that. Very very lucky you. :o)
Dead Poets Society – Carpe Diem – Seize the day, make your lives extraordinary!
Even though Robin Williams life ended tragically, he did have an extraordinary life that touched many. I hope some good will come from it by pointing others who struggle with depression and suicidal thought toward treatment, help and hope. #RobinWilliams #HHM
My Favorite Robin Williams movie was Patch Adams. It was a very warm, touching movie based on a true story and no other actor could have performed it better. In fact I believe if Mr Williams would have chose the field of medicine for his life’s work he would have been a “Patch Adams”. #Robin Williams
I don’t think his life ended tragically at all. He had made a conscious decision to bow out of this life, time and place as we know it. Maybe his greatest gift was also his greatest burden. He made people laugh,made people happy and put people at ease every day of his life. Can you imagine how exhausting that would be? Good night God bless Robin. Truly a beautiful, beautiful man.