I confess… some days I don’t feel thankful. On those days I can still make of list of all my blessings, but instead of it propelling feelings of gratitude it makes me feel guilty. It’s a horrible feeling to be trying to feel something you know you should feel but aren’t. Does that ever happen to you?
When this happens to me I’m probably not feeling very happy, or at least not happy in that moment. So, instead of trying to feel something that I’m not feeling, I do something.
I try to help someone or finish a project I’ve been putting off or call someone I haven’t talked to in a while or go to yoga or find a funny animal video. I try to get out of my head and focus on living. That usually makes me feel happier and something magical starts to happen — that thankful feeling finds me.
Another reason that my happy disappears, I get overwhelmed. It can happen anytime but the holidays get extra stressful because there are just too many to-do’s and too few hours to do them.
I’m human not a robot. I have extra to-do’s and I’m also trying to spend more time with family and friends. My family and friends are wonderful (wink, wink) but some dynamics can make staying happy a challenge for the happiest people.
When all of this extra holiday hoopla overwhelms me, my feelings go numb and I’m simply moving from one task to the other. If I get too tired I just get mad over silly stuff like traffic or lines at the store. If it gets that far, then I just have to take a time out. Yes, I treat myself like I’m five.
I take a cat nap, do some deep breathing, my favorite alternate nostril breathes when my head is spinning, or even shed a few tears. It’s difficult to be in the present when my overwhelmedness has short-circuited my emotions. If I’m not preset in the moment I won’t feel happy or grateful.
If you’ve lost that thankful feeling don’t fight it. Instead, slow down so you can get involved in the present and find your happy again. Some say gratitude makes you feel happy but sometimes being happy helps you feel thankful.
[Tweet “You should sit in mediation for twenty minutes a day, unless you are too busy – then you should sit for an hour~ Zen Saying”]
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Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
Yes, sometimes I have difficulty feeling grateful, and listing reasons I should feel grateful just makes me feel worse. It’s a warning that I’ve been overusing or neglecting myself. Warnings are a reason to be grateful, too: they tell me there’s real danger ahead unless I pay attention and take appropriate action.
For years I believed that feeling bad meant that I was being selfish, and that the only cure was to give more in time, energy, thoughtfulness, money, or whatever else I had to others. When I started ignoring others’ needs and took care of my own, life got brighter and better for me, and (to my surprise) better and brighter for those around me, too. What we all needed wasn’t more generosity, it was genuine happiness.
So now, when I’m having difficulty feeling grateful, I take care of me and everything else follows. Sometimes it takes longer than other times. Then I know I need to pay more attention to me and to maintain this attention to me a lot longer.
Oddly enough, I get much more done, too. Who would have thought that a night out would do that? Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.
Women tend to overload themselves at this time of year 🙁 THAT is why you feel bad 🙁 I am fortunate. I am always happy and grateful. I live alone (happily) . I am 59 yrs old and healthy (ALWAYS grateful for that good health 🙂 ) I have a thriving home sewing business. I have a few close friends. I have a dog I ADORE 🙂 I LOVE my home and acreage with a PASSION 🙂 I have many outer circle friends 🙂 I decide what I want to DO at holiday time and that is ALL I do. Just because the holidays are here doesn’t mean there are more hours in a day 🙁 I think women need to be REALISTIC 🙂 If you are tired and grumpy you won’t bring JOY to anyone else 🙂 Cut back on the extra activities. AND…………….TAKE A NAP 🙂 NAPS are GREAT THINGS 🙂 HAPPY THANKSGIVING 🙂