It’s been 14 years since advice columnist Ann Landers agreed with a reader that people shouldn’t send happy holiday newsletters in their greeting cards. At the time the Society had about 30 members nationally but a few called to say that Ann was raining on people’s parades for sharing their happy news. After pondering their feedback I concurred and we sent out our first press release that was picked up by newspapers globally. The exposure really launched the Secret Society of Happy People because people beyond the ones that I randomly crossed paths with learned about us. The following year there was even a rare retraction by Ann Landers, which made holiday letter writers everywhere very happy.
It’s not that the Society thinks you should write or read holiday greetings if that makes you unhappy. However, for everyone who doesn’t want to hear about someone’s happy news, there’s someone else who does.
The exciting news is that we have so many more options about how we share the highlights of the year with friends and family. However, we still have the challenge of sharing our happiness without it sounding like a brag-fest.
Authentically happy people aren’t trying to make someone feel bad when sharing the year’s highlights. But, like most messages, delivery is everything. Consider these tips when putting together holiday greetings to keep both the writer and reader happy:
Pick how to send your message
There are so many message options to share annual highlights – from traditional letters in greeting cards, to e-mail, or online sites like flickr, Pineterst, YouTube or Facebook.
Consider customizing messages for each recipient or groups of recipients. For example, a great-grandmother who still doesn’t use the computer probably would appreciate a letter. Good friends might like a private Facebook Group for pictures of the years activities. Or a traditional e-mail greeting might be good for those distant relatives. Closest friends and family might find a simple YouTube message fun and entertaining. Or consider linking everyone to a special holiday Pinterest board.
Don’t get overwhelmed by trying to send messages in all of the options – pick a couple and have fun with it.
Keep it real, fun and light
No one’s life is picture-perfect, so it’s OK to share some of the bloopers because it keeps it real and possibly entertaining.
Sure, share the big stuff. But it’s also OK to share the enjoyable simple stuff like maybe learning a new hobby, a great book you read, or your favorite new restaurant. Also, so long as it’s family friendly, humor is always safe. Robust humor can be sent to those on your customized greetings.
Those closest to you probably know about the year’s challenges, so you don’t need to lament upon them. If someone on your list doesn’t know, they probably shouldn’t know.
Put yourself in the recipient’s shoes
Pretend you don’t know you, and figure out if you’d like to read it, watch it or look at it. Humor always helps. If you’re a serious holiday greeting sharer but need help with writing, consider hiring a professional to help with copy. Professional writers are more affordable than you think.
Remember to personalize
It’s so easy to personalize letters you print from your computer, send in an e-mail, or even the message attached to a YouTube link. You can add a person’s name, ask a question or reference something personal that creates a message of caring instead of spewing.
Holiday greetings are meant to be about happiness for both the sender and receive. The easiest way to make that happen is let yourself have a little fun.
What do you think about receiving holiday greetings?
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
I think good news is better than bad news or negative messages. In contrast, using the word “I” too many times seems like the person writing the message is self centered.
my thought is, if you piss someone off… so be it! There are lots more who appreciate what you offer! great post!
I think it’s good to send around the highlights over the past year to close friends and family. But, we had an aunt who used to send around a brag letter. Unfortunately, she inflated all the stories in it to make her family look like superstars when, in reality, they were normal just like the rest of us. We always had a good laugh at her creative writing! So, I would definitely caution folks not to embellish beyond reason…
I like your thoughts on different methods for different people…some of my relatives live on line and enjoy ecards while others check their mail boxes constantly …great tips! Thanks!
I live online but I still prefer the old-fashioned snail mail way for Christmas cards and I love to get pictures of the family. Just my 2 cents! Thanks!
I’m with you Kelly, I’m old fashioned and like my cards in the mail! Great post Pamela, thanks
I definitely agree that we should send the letter in the way that best reflects the individual, thus making it about them. Thanks!
Very nice tips to keep both the writer and the reader happy. Who does not want to be happy? Thanks for sharing.
I used to do Christmas letters but it’s taken too much time so I stopped. I still enjoy getting them though!
Why wouldn’t someone want to hear happy news? I’m always glad to hear my friends and family are doing well. If I didn’t think well of them why are they my friends? I don’t care if it’s an email, card or letter though. I’m just happy if other people I care about are happy.
I love them, regardless of how I receive them!
I’m definitely old-fashioned with my Christmas cards, too bad I’m HORRIBLE about sending them out. *hangs head in shame* Seriously – I have found cards ready to mail in January and February in years past – I’m so bad!
Great tips for the holiday Pam! For me, any will do as long as it is sincere and personalized. For recipients, I believe that they will see/feel if the effort is really there, and regardless of the content, it symbolizes that thought went into it and the person matters.