I’m a planner. Plans get made when you have a goal, so I seem to set a lot of goals. But like the Jewish proverb reminds us “Man plans, God laughs.”
That’s the story of my life. I set a goal, visualize achieving it, then make a plan with impeccable details down to due dates for all the steps. Of course, this sets expectations. And since things rarely go as planned, my expectations are rarely realized.
Since my plans often take a different route than I’d planned, pun intended, my expectations often become happiness drainers. When I miss a deadline on my “To Do” list, it can leave me feeling inept, unorganized and on the worst days unworthy. Sometimes I even join the ranks of the chronically cranky and have been known to cry. The moments pass but they are not what one would call happy.
However, I’m also keenly aware, that I’d never achieve anything if I didn’t have goals. There’s no bigger happiness maker than when you set a goal and achieve it. It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as cleaning out a closet or as complex as losing weight or as significant as changing jobs. The achievement of the goal always makes us happy and encompasses many types of happiness from satisfaction, to motivation, to celebration.
The happiness challenge is learning to adapt when the plan doesn’t go as planned. When we make a plan we naturally have an expectation that we’ll accomplish it. However, the path to success will most likely be on a detour laden road. Sometimes we get there sooner, and sometimes the delays may give us pause and we tweak or change the original plan altogether. And I work on practicing this virtually everyday.
Silver-Lining Perspective: Although we need to have goals, the details to achieve them need to be flexible. There are many paths to achieving a desired outcome and happiness happens when we value the journey. Expectations are happiness makers when they are about the final result instead of the specific details.
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
I too am a planner and I think I give God lots of good laughs! I also annoy the life out of my family who all like to wing it! Oh well….hehe
Carl it’s probably a good combo then … they plan sometimes and you wing it sometimes.
I am a planner too and I give God lots of great laughs! I also annoy thelife out of my family who all like to just wing it..they wake up,see how they feel and just go….OIY….lol
I’m not a big planner and it causes unhappiness when I don’t achieve goals I didn’t plan out how to achieve them. I guess that’s just dreams then and not goals. Something for me to work on.
Mike, great point the difference between a dream and a goal. Sometimes we dream and don’t chase it. But if we have a goal I think we chase it regardless of if we have a detailed plan. Love your delineation.
Pamela Gail, I really like the way you emphasize flexibility here. Rigidity will do us in every time. I’ve also learned to focus on process and growth rather than just results. Thanks for sharing this post!
Shari your right that it’s about process because sometimes during the process we grow and our goal may change.
Super article….sometimes it’s the adventure along the way that overtakes best laid plans.
Niki you’re right the adventure can be a source of great happiness…
Everyone should have measurable goals! How do you know that you have arrived if you don’t know where your going, as the old saying goes!
I’m a measurer but for me sometimes I can get frustrated when things don’t happen when I think they should … but you’re right it helps to benchmark.
Love this comment…”There’s no bigger happiness maker than when you set a goal and achieve it.” Totally agree!
Kim I do love when I get to wrap my arms around the achievement of a goal.
I too am a planner, Pamela. I think I’ve finally figured the importance of adding a little wriggle room into those plans
Jaokie I work to plan for the unexpected as they say … makes me happier.
I used to be a planner, mover and shaker…of paper in the office, filing, making to-do lists, etc. Funny, like the above article mentions…great expectations were set with a great plan but the work never got done. My goals and plans faded away and my feelings of worthlessness were heightened. Today, I’m working a different type of plan. One where tiny baby steps are taken daily, reporting to an accountability partner. Guess what? It is working, it will work for you too. Manage those expectations, step out in faith and do an actionable step each day. Congratulate yourself and repeat the next day. If an aging grandma of 5 can do it, so can YOU.
Hi Carla, you might enjoy Michael Hyatt’s talk about vision and productivity: http://michaelhyatt.com/003-the-relationship-between-vision-and-productivity-podcast.html. It really helped me realize set a goal and let God work on the details.
Is it wrong to say that I’m so happy I am not the only one this happens to? I could be a one-woman comedy show here with the amount of plans that get messed up. 🙂
Helena we could do a road show … and we’re happy despite the chaos proving live is about perspective.
Great article. Agree need to be flexible.
Vicky thanks for the comment … an here’s to flexibility!
This is why we need to live in the ‘now’ and I believe we only do what we feel like doing. When doing that, we become more relaxed and in fact get more done. If we are motivated in any way, it will get done. That doesn’t mean I do it all the time but I am learning too….:)
Suzanne that’s great insight. I also think a lot of times it’s about know what motivates us and how we’re motivated.
The Silver Lining was eye opening! Great post.
Sara glad you enjoyed the Silver Lining … I always try to find it.
“Man plans, God laughs.” Excellent words to live by. When our expectations are realistic we can more comfortably navigate the waters as they flow! Great article! Thanks!
It’s all in the plan! It does make you feel so good to get a plan going and make it a reality!
Denny, thanks … that became a favorite quote of mine when I’d get frustrated by my over planning.
Love the graphic that you included for this post Pamela. In a “nutshell”, that’s a REAL marketing plan!
I’m a planner with a dash of spontaneity. But my husband is totally spontaneous. It drives me crazy. But as a result, I’ve learned to roll with the punches, even if that means rolling all the way down the hill then roll back up…
I am getting more organized and it makes a bug difference!
I love this part – there’s no bigger happiness maker than when you set a goal and achieve it. Oftentimes, failure discourages one from reaching the end goal. But, thinking about the journey whether you fail or succeed is enough happiness to keep going.