Sexy Is Happy

by Pamela Gail Johnson on January 28, 2014

Sexy Is Happy

I don’t know when I went from sexy to frumpy, but it happened.

And when I say sexy, I’m not talking about someone who inspires questions about an hourly rate … whatever you think that looks like. But I’ve always been cute and fashionable. There was a time in my younger life that I wouldn’t go to the grocery store unless my hair, make-up and clothes were meticulous. Of course, I was in high school, had more time and usually had a crush on one of the boys who worked there. But the point is – I wanted to look my best when I went out in public because I wanted to make a great impression.

Later, in adulthood, somewhere in my 40’s, I hung some magic mirrors that didn’t clearly show reality, and started reading magazines with articles such as, “Who Cares if I Wear Mascara?”

The results became apparent last summer when I was preparing for the Secret Society of Happy People video. I was shocked to realize that my wardrobe consisted of mostly of yoga and baggy sweat pants, all with matching black tops. My day job clothes were mostly black, too. And after the makeup artist applied my camera-ready makeup I realized that I was still applying ‘90s make-up. Yikes!!!

It was a wake-up call and I wondered, “When did I quit caring?”

After accepting that I wasn’t in some retro “Twilight Zone” episode, I had to look in the mirror of reality and accept I’d gotten appearance-lazy.

Appearance Lazy

The exciting part about being lazy is that it’s easily remedied. It’s not that I want to be as neurotic as I was in my teens. But I also don’t want to be the girl that people look at and think, “If only she’d put on some makeup, do something with that hair and wear something besides those black yoga pants, she’d look so much better. Is she depressed?”

Since I wasn’t depressed, I decided to trade my frumpy for my new, cute, sexy self.

The first part of feeling sexy has to do with attitude. Remember when we were in our teens and early twenties. We shopped, dressed and did our hair and makeup with the goal, “Does this make me look hot?”

I asked myself, “What is sexy now?” That’s different for everyone and depends somewhat on how wise you are (code for the number of birthdays you’ve had).

What’s Sexy For You Now?

For me, I decided it was about my appearance matching how I felt inside. This meant looking great when I felt great. And if I was in a funk, then I needed to dress like I wanted to feel – great. So, instead of dressing for the funk (unless it was something major that warrants some extra TLC for healing, like death, lay-off, or broken heart), I needed to pick out a favorite top, cute jeans, and fun accessories. This way when I looked in the mirror I felt better because I looked good. And if someone else happened to think, “Wow, she looks good!” I’d pick up those happy vibes, too, and before I knew it my smile was authentic.

Being sexy is ultimately about allowing ourselves to let our confidence, exuberance, and love of life be reflected in our appearance. It’s showing we care about living and connecting with others.

Now don’t misunderstand – I still love my yoga pants, but I wear them more to yoga classes now than to the grocery store. And when I wear them, I’m smiling and feeling sexy and happy.

I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.

~ Audrey Hepburn


If you know anyone who would like to feel SEXIER and HAPPIER by Valentine’s Day share this with them!!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Charlie January 29, 2014 at 10:26 am

Hi Pamela. I really enjoy reading your blogs…you do an awesome job helping spread the news that true inner happiness is so important. Regarding your “Sexy is Happy” post, you are beautiful because YOU believe you are beautiful. It doesn’t matter what others think. Each of us has our own reality, and if it is based on what anyone else thinks, then our happiness is based on what they think. If YOU are happy wearing your yoga pants to the grocery store, that’s great. When YOU decide (as apparently you did) to dress differently, then that’s great, too. Not allowing my true inner happiness to be dictated by what other people think is empowering, and makes me feel…you guessed it…HAPPY! Have a wonderful day!


Carissa Pelletier January 29, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Confidence is crucial. Great post and your confidence shines through!


Sue F February 9, 2014 at 10:34 am

Even though I have counted more than a few birthdays, I have always wanted to look my best. I just feel better when I think I look good. I appreciate compliments but I do it for ME. I like that you mentioned the times when it’s ok to not “worry” about what we wear and I agree, but during my recent loss of love, I felt better getting dressed in something colorful and pretty. Blue calms me. Red energizes me and yellow is my happy in Spring color. Don’t give up on black, that can be a VERY Sexy color! Thanks for your blogs and happy thoughts coming to my in-box.


Elissa (Smiley February 13, 2014 at 12:30 pm

So very grateful that we can recreate out outer space and smiling face each new season. It’s a blessing not a curse because male friends have shown me that sexy is in the attitude and smile. That’s so true and the best makeup to make my face. Smiling lowers blood pressure, decreases pain and increases happiness. I hope soon, I will have a tiny budget to try out these ideas. This years is miraculous so far–attitude is everything—Pamela Gail–you are a forever star that brights and lights up every room in cyber space.:)


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