I don’t know when I went from sexy to frumpy, but it happened.
And when I say sexy, I’m not talking about someone who inspires questions about an hourly rate … whatever you think that looks like. But I’ve always been cute and fashionable. There was a time in my younger life that I wouldn’t go to the grocery store unless my hair, make-up and clothes were meticulous. Of course, I was in high school, had more time and usually had a crush on one of the boys who worked there. But the point is – I wanted to look my best when I went out in public because I wanted to make a great impression.
Later, in adulthood, somewhere in my 40’s, I hung some magic mirrors that didn’t clearly show reality, and started reading magazines with articles such as, “Who Cares if I Wear Mascara?”
The results became apparent last summer when I was preparing for the Secret Society of Happy People video. I was shocked to realize that my wardrobe consisted of mostly of yoga and baggy sweat pants, all with matching black tops. My day job clothes were mostly black, too. And after the makeup artist applied my camera-ready makeup I realized that I was still applying ‘90s make-up. Yikes!!!
It was a wake-up call and I wondered, “When did I quit caring?”
After accepting that I wasn’t in some retro “Twilight Zone” episode, I had to look in the mirror of reality and accept I’d gotten appearance-lazy.
The exciting part about being lazy is that it’s easily remedied. It’s not that I want to be as neurotic as I was in my teens. But I also don’t want to be the girl that people look at and think, “If only she’d put on some makeup, do something with that hair and wear something besides those black yoga pants, she’d look so much better. Is she depressed?”
Since I wasn’t depressed, I decided to trade my frumpy for my new, cute, sexy self.
The first part of feeling sexy has to do with attitude. Remember when we were in our teens and early twenties. We shopped, dressed and did our hair and makeup with the goal, “Does this make me look hot?”
I asked myself, “What is sexy now?” That’s different for everyone and depends somewhat on how wise you are (code for the number of birthdays you’ve had).
What’s Sexy For You Now?
For me, I decided it was about my appearance matching how I felt inside. This meant looking great when I felt great. And if I was in a funk, then I needed to dress like I wanted to feel – great. So, instead of dressing for the funk (unless it was something major that warrants some extra TLC for healing, like death, lay-off, or broken heart), I needed to pick out a favorite top, cute jeans, and fun accessories. This way when I looked in the mirror I felt better because I looked good. And if someone else happened to think, “Wow, she looks good!” I’d pick up those happy vibes, too, and before I knew it my smile was authentic.
Being sexy is ultimately about allowing ourselves to let our confidence, exuberance, and love of life be reflected in our appearance. It’s showing we care about living and connecting with others.
Now don’t misunderstand – I still love my yoga pants, but I wear them more to yoga classes now than to the grocery store. And when I wear them, I’m smiling and feeling sexy and happy.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
~ Audrey Hepburn
If you know anyone who would like to feel SEXIER and HAPPIER by Valentine’s Day share this with them!!