Are You The Happiest Person You Know?
When I first started the Society over two decades ago, I remember chatting at a mental health conference with a therapist who asked why I had started the Society. I responded with something like, “Our culture seems to reward us with positive reinforcement when we talk about our problems, but if we talk about being happy, people really don’t know how to respond. The conversation gets silent.”
He responded, “What’s wrong with that?” All I could think was, “The point of self-help is to experience more happiness.”
Obviously, when we’re happy then we should naturally talk more about the times when we experience happiness. It’s not that mostly happy people don’t experience unhappiness; they do.
However, the difference between someone who describes themselves as mostly happy instead of mostly unhappy is how they manage happiness zappers.
Most people who consider themselves happy look for the silver linings in their challenges instead of seeing unhappy experiences as something destined to make them always unhappy.
[Tweet “Happy people look for the silver linings in their challenges.”]
If this describes you, then you may find yourself being the happiest person you know.
Being The Happiest Person In Your Tribe
Being the happiest person you know can sometimes feel a bit lonely. If the majority of the people you spend time with see the glass half empty, then sharing your happiness with them probably doesn’t feel good. You know that the other person will either rain on your parade, or you’ll feel like you’re contributing to their unhappiness because they compare their happiness to yours and everyone else’s—even strangers.
Although happiness is scientifically known to be contagious, so is gloom. If you’re the one happy person in a group of six, you probably won’t be able to elevate the group mood.
Unfortunately, for some people, staying chronically cranky makes them happy in a twisted way. They carry their “what’s wrong” magnifying glass with pride.
To clarify, a chronically cranky person is someone who doesn’t acknowledge their happy moments and is happy raining on other people’s parades. It’s not someone who’s having a bad day, or maybe several bad days strung together because they are dealing with a genuinely unhappy experience. As we mentioned above, unhappiness happens to even mostly happy people.
3 Tips To Help You Keep Your Happy
In our Society member Happiness Handbook, we provide 6 Ways to Stay Happy When You’re the Happiness Person You Know, but we’re sharing a few of the tips here too:
- Connect with other happy people. This may mean making new friends with people who are as happy or happier than you are to create a “keep your happy” tribe.
- Do not try to make a chronically cranky person happy. They are happy in their own way – being unhappy. If someone is having a bad day—it’s okay to be a smile maker and cheer them up—it’ll probably make you smile too. But recognize the difference between a chronically cranky person and someone having a bad day.
- Encourage happy sharing. When someone makes a comment about something that makes them happy, be genuinely happy when you respond and ask questions to get the whole story.
When you feel like you’re the happiest person you know—you may be.
Since they say we become the collective sum of the six people we spend the most time with, then it’s important to increase the amount of time you spend with other positive, happy people.
You may even need to spend less time with the cranky people in your circles—of course, that may be complicated with it comes to family members, long-term friends, and co-workers.
If you need professional advice before making decisions about navigating any of these relationships, seek it.
In the meantime, the Society of Happy People is a great place to start increasing your happy friend tribe. Our members even have their own FB group so they can communicate and get to know each other more easily.
In the spirit of sharing happiness, what’s the happiest thing that’s happened to you today? Please share below—we really want to know.
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
I am losing my job next week and I’m not thrilled about it, of course. But coworkers began hearing about it this morning and all the positive, sweet comments from them has really lifted my spirits!
From one Barb to another – I’m wishing you the best possible outcome on whatever path you now find yourself.
Learning has made me happy today. My husband got me into listening to Audible books during my 45-minute drive to work (and 45-minute trip home). Just finishing “Leadership” about the leadership styles of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR and LBJ. It’s fascinating. Lighter listening includes the Lemony Snicket books because: 1) they’re funny, 2) they appeal to my inner child and 3) Tim Curry the narrator has a voice which makes me very happy. As one book ends, I find myself looking forward to the next “read”. Highly recommend it to anyone who spends as much time as I do in the car.
I consider myself the happiest person I know. (Well possibly second to my friend Gil who is pretty joyous also.) I sometimes ‘restrain’ my expression of glee so not to make others feel inadequate. Which always feels awkward. Whenever anyone asks ‘how are you today’ my immediate response is to remember I do not live in a war zone like Syria, I am not starving or homeless, not incarcerated, or serious ill, and I have love in my life and many other positives.
If you want to be happy compare yourself to others who have it worse. If you want to feel down compare yourself to others who you believe have it better.
So far, this post is the happiest thing in my life today. But since I’ve just gotten up, there’s plenty of time for more happies before nightfall!
Thanks for the tip for the chronically cranky person….this helps me so much!