I announced a couple of years ago that I’d be posting fewer blogs and only sending the occasional newsletter because I was taking a Secret Society of Happy People sabbatical to write a book. I figured my absence would be six months or less. But – voila – it’s been almost two years (other than popping out of my writing cave for Happiness Happens Month and Hunt for Happiness Week.)
Life happened and it took longer to finish that first draft than I had anticipated.
After my mom passed away I wanted to read a “Tuesdays with Morrie” type of story about grief. I wanted to know how someone else navigated the grief road in front of me – but not in a self-help, religious or a life-off-the-grid way. I never found that specific book, despite the plethora of grief books.
[perfectpullquote align=”left” cite=”Toni Morrison” link=”” color=”#008080″ class=”” size=””]“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” [/perfectpullquote]
My experience reminded me of Toni Morrison’s quote, “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” However when I mentioned writing this book, a few close friends advised me to wait a couple of years before starting to write it so I could have perspective about grief.
They suggested that I journal during that phase. About five years after my mom’s passing I made my first attempt to write the book. After a week of non-stop writing, I realized when I re-read it that the pages of words were unworthy of a reader’s interest. Perhaps it was cathartic for me, but it wasn’t anywhere near publishable. I decided to focus on happier things and set the pages aside.
A few more years went by and some of my friends lost their moms too. They were now draped in the life changing cloak of grief. I wanted to give them the book that I wanted to read after my mom passed with their condolence card. But I still couldn’t find that story. After trying to write it I understood why it’s not on the bookshelves. It’s not a story you want to tell once you’ve adjusted to life without your mom.
[perfectpullquote align=”right” cite=”Pamela Gail Johnson” link=”” color=”#008080″ class=”” size=””]Sometimes that’s how life works – a situation sparks us to take action. It sparks us to dig deep into our soul and do something that we never planned on doing. It’s these experiences that are the catalyst for growth.[/perfectpullquote]
However, I couldn’t deny that that something in my soul had been sparked again. And I felt the need to write about finding my new normal after losing my mom. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever written. My manuscript is back from the editor and the revisions will be equally challenging. If I didn’t believe that this story might help others navigating grief, I’d table it again.
Sometimes that’s how life works – a situation sparks us to take action. It sparks us to dig deep into our soul and do something that we never planned on doing. It’s these experiences that are the catalyst for growth.
[tweet_dis]Happiness happens when we grow—even when it’s difficult.[/tweet_dis]
I’m excited to announce that the focus of our newly re-titled blog, Life Sparks, will be about life experiences that spark us to expand how we think, act, and feel. So, I’d love to hear about one of your Life Sparks lessons in the comments below.
We’re also very happy to unveil our updated website… check it out.
Written by Pamela Gail
Pamela Gail Johnson founded the Society of Happy People in 1998.
The Society is grounded on Pamela’s four key Practical Happiness Principles:
Pamela identified 31 Types of Happiness that are on the SOHP App Happiness Counter to make it easier to recognize moments of happiness.
Pamela also plans and organizes the Society of Happy People's annual happiness celebrations:
She's also a speaker, trainer, and author.
A few of her personal smile starters include her monthly book club, yoga, traveling and meeting new happy people.
Hi Pamela,
Did I miss the title of your book? You hit the nail on the head with the idea that sometimes you need to read a book that only YOU can write. I didn’t set out to write a book, but when I re-read things I journalled about surrounding the deaths of my brothers, I thought…”No one would want to read this”. I would, however, like to read your book. Is it available?
Cheers,
Barb
It’s getting read for round II of edits … it’s a hard book to write … to be that raw and honest. You may find at a later date you want to tweak what you wrote. I’ve been working on this for more than a decade.
When my husband died suddenly I went back to college, attended a church related widows widowers, meet new people esp girlfriend we took children to events and church followed by pizza! started working as an aide and then teacher, after 5 years, one of my girlfriend’s friend is now my hubby!
Another life spark
When my neighbor in Fl offered her condo to us for vacation
Loved Gatlinburg so we had a few nice vacations then bought a cabin of our own, then started looking for a bigger cabin we went to a party
( found on Internet ) for new community with many amenities. Our home there will be ready in Dec!,
I am truly blessed!
Nancy it sounds like when life sparks you follow the light and it’s led to some happy moments. Thanks for sharing.
I guess you could say one of my Life Sparks happened in January when I decided to register for my first….MARATHON! Oh my what the h-e-double hockey sticks was I thinking? I have completed 34 half marathons to date. July 9th I start training for a full….I am a race walker so I will be out there for a very long time. The race is in Kingwood, Tx (suburb of Houston) so it will be flat. It’s on New Year’s Day 2017. I will do this…. 🙂
Tracey the best Life Sparks are the challenges we set for ourselves. I’m sure you’ll cross the finish line with flying colors!!!
Hi Pamela subscribing to this newsletter is one one of the best things I did, it taught me recognize happiness, as for sharing my life spark, I have had a appendectomy, a biopsy, an ankle implant, an emergency ceaserian, and 40% burns in that order what I did was I tried to learn something new each time and spend time with daughters, believe me that brings a smile on face and breathe easy.
I’m so glad you enjoy the newsletter — and hope to start sending it out a little more often. Medical issues certainly provide the opportunity to us to learn many things including patience. Glad to hear that you reach for the lesson instead of the frustration.
Pamela,
Your insight that losing our Moms is a significant change resonates for me. My Mom and I were very close. It has been 31 years since her death. I still miss her so much. She was a beautiful person. I look forward to reading your book.
My latest Life Spark began on June 1 when I retired and started mining my journals for writing topics. It has been a joy to start each day in such a positive way.
Thanks for sharing. It’s been over a decade and some days it still feels like it just happened. But most days I’ve found my new normal.
Congrats on retirement and picking up your writing again.
Keep on keeping on!
I took a free on line course “Energy Profiling” and now “Live my truth”
www.https://my.liveyourtruth.com/freecourse/?utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=home-referral&utm_source=header
At 60 something I discovered that my job is not making sure the ‘rules’ get followed. No, my job is to make people smile… And I am SO, SO much happier doing the smile thing!
Have you met anyone else who wears a slinky in her hair? I’ll post on fb.
I was in a restaurant recently and noticed a chance to say something silly to a total stranger. I knew it was safe to say without seeming too weird. The stranger laughed and I laughed with her. I said to my son, who sat across from me, “I think I’d like to make someone laugh every time I go out in public. Wouldn’t that be fun?” Now I need to remember to make it my quest whenever I leave the house. This will take a lot of effort for me because, although I am quick to laugh at what others say in humor, I’m not normally a funny person.